I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize