Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
