i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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