Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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