DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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