Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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