Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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