Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
