i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize