what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
