So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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