i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it because I queefed?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
