no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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