so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
