Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Randomize
