we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
