I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
