They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
