Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head

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(630): View more from Illinois

his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

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(541): View more from Oregon

When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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(229): View more from Georgia

As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.

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(813): View more from Florida

If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity

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(434): View more from Virginia

Our room will be decorated with my urine.

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(850): View more from Florida

He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch

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(646): View more from New York

I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.

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