im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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