Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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