what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
