I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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