only you would photoshop your dick
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
