obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
