Where did you get a picture of my penis
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
