I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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