I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
