I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize