Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
