i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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