Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Where did you get a picture of my penis
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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