i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
