I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he just fucked me for my cheese..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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