it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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