It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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