Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
