Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
