She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
