I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
