you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I love black thongs
...so i touched it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just made my gag reflex go away.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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