Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
