My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
