When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Found your dick twin last night
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
