do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
