Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Duck Duck Cougar?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
