a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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