your thong is hanging out like whoa
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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