It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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