I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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