if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
