Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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