We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize