I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
