So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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