Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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