if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
