Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
