turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
