Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
