I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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