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Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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