Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
