I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
well you can't waste a boner
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
