You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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